Hi there! I hope everyone enjoyed their Holiday weekend... I know the Mister and I did! We don't really observe the Holiday so instead we took a fun little Sunday road trip to Bastrop where we drove around the most charming little town. We saw the most beautiful historical houses and homes and even found some really fun places to have some future photo sessions.
It was sprinkling the whole time we were in Bastrop so we didn't get a chance to hop out of the car and take a walk around but we did manage to get some coffee before we headed back towards Austin. On our way back we spotted this very fun and vintage looking firework outlet and decided that it was a good opportunity to take a few pictures.
Of course it was closed because of Easter Sunday so we had the whole lot to ourselves. I was super excited about the fact that I could (once more) fit into this vintage dress that my old friend Cate had let me have long ago. It's literally been maybe four years since I rocked this dress. At my heaviest I could squeeze into it but my arms barely fit into the sleeves and it looked all sorts of wrong. The Husbear later told me that he remembered not being able to even zip it up on me! The dress had been hanging in my guest room closet along with all the other clothes that I couldn't fit into. So of course I was completely delighted (and almost shed a tear) that I could fit into it with room to spare!
I've really worked hard to reach this point.... especially in the last month. Why it wasn't even more than about a year and a half ago that I was at my heaviest pushing 145. I hated my job and was sick physically and mentally... I was not in a good place in my life. I decided that if I was going to be happy with myself and in life that I'd have to make some very profound changes. Some of you may have heard this before as it's still an on going journey of mine....
At that point in my life I was literally fighting to save myself. I was having tons of mini visual seizures throughout the day. My face and limbs would go numb and I felt completely disconnected from my body and reality. I grew very depressed and turned to alcohol to numb my pain. A lot of people don't fully understand what I was actually going through... I covered it behind smiles and humour but I was literally dying inside. It was hard to even hold conversations with people and I couldn't even read anymore. The anti seizure medications I was on made it so hard to concentrate and the side effects were worse than actually having seizures themselves. I lost almost all quality of life and even remember telling my Husband that I wished that I was dead. That was rock bottom for me...
The good news is there IS a happy ending to this story. I decided that if I was going to survive I was going to have to make some changes and I did! Together my Husband and I decided that the best thing for me and us as a family was for me to leave my job. I was so severely stressed out (having seizures) and depressed that I wasn't even able to go to work let alone get out of bed most days anyhow... so I turned in my two weeks notice and decided that I'd do what I loved doing most in life.... crocheting for my little side business Nothing but a Pigeon. I was already doing in part time and it seemed like the only logical thing to do. I could work from the comfort of my own home and focus on getting healthy again. That was our main goal... was to get me back to where I was before and be able to function as a normal and healthy person.
So the last year and a half I strove to make positive changes in my life. I basically got rid of everyone and everything that was having or creating a negative impact on my life. Not a few months after I quit my horrible job did my seizures and other symptoms start to trickle away. My visual seizures and everyday distortions (see Alice in Wonderland Syndrome) stopped altogether and I slowly started to live again. I was happier and didn't even want to drink alcohol or over eat like I used to. Turns out my job was indeed that horrible enough to cause me and my body to go into severe stress and panic... hence the visual seizures and diagnoses of Epilepsy.
Over the last year or so I've worked my ass off to become a healthy and happy person. I changed all my bad habits around and started to count calories and workout everyday! Why The Mister even joined in so we could become fit and healthy together. It was hard and some days I wanted to give up because I wasn't seeing the results I wanted... but I stuck with it and stayed the course and slowly but surely the pounds melted away. I too became happier and much more pleasant to be around. I saw hope that I once last and was actually loving life once more. I actually can say that I'm really happy with myself now and truly love myself. If you'd met me a few years ago, I don't think I'd be able to say that. I was truly a miserable and depressed person.
I never thought I'd loose all the weight that I'd gained over the course of those three horrible years that I was ill and not able to workout.... but I made it happen with hard work and determination! It really is possible to change your life around if you really want it bad enough. It's not really even about the weight (that's just a bonus) it's about being physically and mentally fit and healthy. As you can see The Mister has even lost a substantial amount of weight and is happier in life as well. We even enjoy working out together and preparing and cooking our healthy food at home.
I'm so lucky that I had my Husband that stood by me and supported me in all my decisions. He has supported me financially and emotionally when I decided to leave my job and that has even helped me grow my little side business Nothing but a Pigeon into a full time gig. I seriously could not have done it without him! It was hard for him to see me sick and to take care of me all those years. He literally drove me around everywhere (they took my license away). I was also kind of a horrible person to be around sometimes. We made it through the storm though and I have to say we are much closer and stronger than we ever were before because of it. We definitely have a clearer view on life and appreciate/value things and each other so much more now because of the hardships we have fought.
I know, I know.... I'm totally rambling on now. I know a lot of you have already heard my story, but it's so important for me to share with everyone. I want other people to know that anything is possible if you put your mind to it... you CAN literally accomplish anything.
There's more! I have really exciting news!!! It's official... I'm going to be an Author! Eeeeeeeep!
Nothing but a Pigeon has been going strong now full time for over a year or so and I've always wanted to write a crochet pattern book (as some of you may already know). I wanted to expand my crochet business and not only sell online, in boutiques as well as participating in shows but in other areas too. I'm so glad that I decided to go this route and am about to sign with a fabulous Publishing Company!! More on that later.....
For now, I'm focusing hard on loosing those last few pounds in order to get to my goal weight and then I'll see from there... I may just keep loosing! I'm also pushing myself really hard this month to not only write down my patterns but to have enough stock (taxi heads) for three HUGE upcoming shows in May! I'm really excited and nervous as well... I'll be traveling with some of my most favorite crafty lady friends to Dallas for Etsy Dallas and to Arkansas for The Little Craft Show. I can't forget
The Renegade Craft Fair in Austin.... it'll be on the east side of town this year. Exciting things are on the horizon!!!
Whew! I know that was a long post. Congrats if you made it all the way through to the end of my story. Ha! I just wanted to share a little BIG piece of my life with you all in hopes that it may inspire you or someone you know to make some positive changes in their lives. I do love a good success story... don't you? I would love to hear your thoughts and even answer all your questions about my journey and my diagnoses of the vary rare "Alice in Wonderland Syndrome"... it's a real thing!!! I try to respond and reply back to all my comments and really do value them! Hope everyone had a great weekend!
xoxo
Dress: Recycled Vintage by Cate Donohue
Boots: Thrifted
Hat: Forever 21
